Friendship building and trust earning

Our first night in our house we went to sleep with the sound of hyper active crickets. I could have sworn that the house was full of thousands of them as they were so loud! There was definitely one cricket up in the ceiling that loved the amplification that the corrugated tin roof provided and he was more than excited to us it!
The morning we woke to the sound of sadness. We could hear wailing and crying outside. We were unsure what we should do. The family explained that the neighbour (an elderly woman) had passed away during the night and the community had set up tents for the mourners. This was a first real moment of culture shock. Boris and I had no idea what we should do, what was traditionally correct and expected especially as neighbours. We tried asking what we could do, but no one really seemed to understand what we meant. So we called a friend and colleague of Giselle, who is also our neighbour, and asked him what to do. Aimé came by in the evening and we went to visit the family and pass on our condolences. He explained in Diuola that we were new neighbours and that we wanted to pass on our wishes to the family. There was a tent of men in one area and a gathering of women in another area. Apparently they sit separately to mourn. Under normal circumstances Boris would have gone only to the men and I only to the women, but Aimé brought us to both together as it was easier. The family appreciated our respectful visit and I fell it was the natural thing to do, especially as neighbours.
During the day we spent our time at the market with Salmata and all her cousins and family. Ismael is my new little friend, as the mom often passed him on to me to take care of. In the mornings he also comes to knock at our door to see if we are up. The mom explained that before there were others staying where we are now and he would never go, but with us he comes to see us every morning. In the market ever where we go we are followed by Rastas which makes Salmata laugh. It is tourist season in Bobo so we are assumed to be rich tourists from Europe. Today was also a lesson in “what the mother says, you do!”. Mama Mariam is a kind woman, but she RULES the household and the market. She is very hard to read, as she rarely smiles, so I never know if I have mortally offended her or if she is happy. She has one volume to speak and that is to yell, or bark orders. She runs a tight ship, so to say. She seemed happy to introduce us and show us around, but when she says wait there, you do. There is no place for what you want to do.
Once home Boris and I prepared dinner. I know that that was a sight for them. Both of us working together to make a salad. I’m sure they really wondered what on earth we were making and what on earth Boris was doing helping. We are taking little steps with gender issues here. For instance, I’m doing the laundry and washing the dishes. Already I do it differently than they do so that is odd, but if Boris were to do it, it would be more than odd! Where we can show a different way of doing things we are little by little.
I spent the evening sitting out front with the kids and talking to Salmata. She was showing me pictures and we were comparing Canada and Burkina. A few tidbits that I have learned to far:
-When doing laundry always dry your underwear inside the house because they say that outside you are unaware of what spirit may put them on and bring you bad luck.
-You should never wash, not even your face in front of someone else, it is too private and disrespectful if someone see you.
-As the showers are open to the sky (basically just 3 walls, a door and a bucket) you shouldn’t wash under the stars as they say a spirit may pass.
-What ever you do pass everything and take everything with your right hand and your left had is “dirty”
-Women wear “tafé”, a piece of clothe wrapped around your waist and tucked under. You must wear it long enough to cover almost to you ankles. Pants are not really seen on women only occasionally young girls.